What makes a nuke and divorce the same?
It only takes one of each to end your life.
Whats Jokes
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What's life if you don't have one...
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
The rope doesn't hang from itself.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
