Whats jokes
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Memes
The "what the flip is this" mobile!
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?
That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.