Whats jokes
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.