Whats jokes

What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?

A water gun.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

The suicide squad.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?

Down Quijote.

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.

What do you call a fish with no eye?

A ffsshh.

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to ten trees.

Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?

one has a point.

What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!

Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.

Friend: What were the tests about?

Me: Japan.

What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.