Whats jokes

What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?

A porkypine!

What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?

I don't have $1 million in my wallet.

What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?

They both make noise when you throw them.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?

Children scream when they melt.

What is harder than steel?

Michael Jackson on a playground.

What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

What's a skeleton's favorite food?

Spare ribs.

What kind of fish comes out at night?

A starfish.

What's the best thing about a blowjob?

- The silence.

A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."

What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?

"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."

What's the hardest thing about being a pedophile?

Just trying to fit in.

A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.

Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."

Guy: "What's the bad news?"

Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."

Guy: "Good news?"

Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."

What's the difference between an onion and a baby?

One makes you cry when you cut it up.

What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.

What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?

- A VEGUN.

Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."

There's a kid named Little Johnny who would always cuss. Well, one day, he was sitting in class and the teacher said, "Let's play a game." So the game was she calls out a letter and someone raises her hand and tells her a word that begins with that letter. The teacher says "A". Little Johnny raises his hand and the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, he might say something like a**." So the teacher calls on Sally. Sally says "apple". The teacher says "B". Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher thought, "No, he might say something like b!tch." So the teacher goes all the way to R. The teacher says "R". Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Me, me, please, I really know one." Then the teacher thinks to herself, "Well, there's no cuss word that starts with R," so she said, "Okay, Johnny, give me a word that starts with R." Little Johnny says, "A rat!" and the teacher, very pleased, says, "Very good, Johnny. What type of rat?" Little Johnny says, "A big gosh damn mother freaker."

Sorry, I had to edit some word, but y'all know what I meant.