Whats jokes
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
What did the Chinese guy say to the Italian guy?
同性恋球蜥蜴 (translate it)
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”