Whats jokes
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A trash can in a baby.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
Memes
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What is the highest number?
420.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!