Whats jokes
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A trash can in a baby.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.
On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.
“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What is the highest number?
420.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
Sans: Zzzzzzzz.
Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it, dude?
Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What's the best way to remove gum from hair?
Cancer.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.