Whats jokes
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
Look at it, it's a soulless green glob.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?
One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" the passenger said.
"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.