Whats jokes
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Memes
When your dad asks what you want for dinner in a group chat…..
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What is a Mexican person's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!