Whats jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
What's a fish's least favorite instrument?
A ClariNET!
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
What's the difference between a black and a white fairy tale? White begins, "Once upon a time..." Black begins, "Y'all mutherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit."
What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.