Whats jokes
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
What was the difference between the Federal Republic of Germany and the German Democratic Republic?
Federal Republic: The harder you work, the more you get.
Democratic Republic: The harder you work, the firmer the handshake and nothing else.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
I set fiya to the rain! Wait, no, that ain't possible, what... I evaporated the rain!
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What’s a rapper’s favorite tool?
A mic wrench.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
What do you call a fat man with a rape whistle? Hogan!