What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?
This would be much better if you were alive.
Whats Jokes
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)
"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))
And slice jokes!
What kind of "slices"?
Handy ones. ^_^
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
What feature does an orphan's phone not have?
A home button.
