Whats jokes

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?

$2 billion and high cholesterol.

What do you call a roach in milk?

A roach con leche. 😂

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mercedes?

I don’t have a Mercedes.

What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.

What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.

What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What's a good way to masturbate?

Get somebody to do it for you.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.

What's an alien's favorite computer key?

The space bar!

what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.

What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!

What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?

Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.

What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?

This would be much better if you were alive.

What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?

One will make your day, and the other will make your hole weak.

What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!

What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.