Whats jokes
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What is the difference between a snow woman and a snowman?
Snowballs.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"