Whats jokes

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What's a good way to masturbate?

Get somebody to do it for you.

What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."

I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.

What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."

Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?

I’m bone to be wild!

What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?

Posiedown.

What feature does an orphan's phone not have?

A home button.

What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!

What did the paintings name their daughter?

Palette.

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

(Later)

"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"

What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen.

What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?

One has a home.

What is a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary.

What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?