Whats jokes
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
always happens to me
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
You reload and keep shooting.
😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."
What is Donald Trump's favorite game?
Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.