Whats jokes
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
get this one guys
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.