Whats

Whats jokes

Bible

What do the initials BIBLE stand for?

Bull In Book Lacking Evidence

Criminal

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Memes

Dog

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

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  • Gay

    what do you call a lazy gay?

    someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

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  • Name

    Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

    Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

    Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

    Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

    Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

    Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

    Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

    Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

    Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

    Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

    Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

    Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

    Dog

    I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.

    My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."

    Teacher

    Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.

    Penis

    What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."

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  • Orphan

    What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

    Q: An apple gets picked.

    DNA

    I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.

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  • Class

    Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

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  • Denephew

    A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"

    "You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."

    The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"

    The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."

    "What about the boy?" the woman asked.

    The doctor said, "Denephew."

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