Whats jokes

what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.

what did the pedophile say to the kid?

"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."

What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?

You reload and keep shooting.

In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?

My dick.

What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo.

Chinese Names - Annie Wan (Anyone)

Caller: "Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?"

Operator: "Yes, you can speak to me."

Caller: "No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!"

Operator: "You are talking to someone! Who is this?"

Caller: "I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent."

Operator: "I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?"

Caller: "Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital."

Operator: "Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious, but I don't have time for this!"

Caller: "You are so rude! Who are you?"

Operator: "I'm Saw Lee (Sorry)."

Caller: "Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!"

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?

"Let us prey together."

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?

This isn't ketchup.

What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.

What is Donald Trump's favorite game?

Fortnite. Because he can build walls for free.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.

What do the mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.