Whats jokes

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?

Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.

What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?

Russian malls.

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."

What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?

Mike said: I don’t know, what?

Jon said: Kinder surprise.

"Don't worry! Life goes on."

"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?

The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.

I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

What kind of bee can't fly?

A KOBE.

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product.