Whats jokes
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"