Whats jokes
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
what the earth would look live after a year of the moon slowing down:
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"