Whats jokes
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What college can Stephen Hawking not attend?
"Stand" Ford University. :3
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.