Whats jokes

What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?

An iPhone has a button to go home.

What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.

What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?

The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!

Guess what song this is from:

"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,

Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,

Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.

I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."

What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.

What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?

Mike said: I don’t know, what?

Jon said: Kinder surprise.

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing boeing boeing.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?

"This is a stand-up."

What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?

Minesweeper.

What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?

They are just two plane.

What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?

The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.

What is the most played game in Africa?

The Hunger Games.

I bought a guh on the weekend.

(what's a guh?)

GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰

"Don't worry! Life goes on."

"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."