Whats jokes
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Memes
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.