Whats jokes

What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."

What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

"Windows 10 shutting down."

What's the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories.

What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?

The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.

What did one iceberg say to the other iceberg as the Titanic went by?

"I'd smash that."

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

I bought a guh on the weekend.

(what's a guh?)

GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰

What is the most played game in Africa?

The Hunger Games.

"Don't worry! Life goes on."

"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing boeing boeing.

What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?

They are just two plane.

I will always remember my uncle's last words, "What's the shovel for?"

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.