Whats jokes
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Memes
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”
“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Guess what song this is from:
"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,
Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,
Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.
I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.