Whats jokes
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.