What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
Whats Jokes
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Whatβs the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.... (not the orphan)
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we donβt use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
