Whats jokes
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
What do depressed people use for emotions online?
They use EMOjis.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"
What were the twin towers plains?
God's playing Jenga.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.