Whats jokes
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
What do you call an emo group?
Suicide squad.
What picture is that?
What do you call a bus full of stoners?
The Magic School Bus.
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
What do you think of your mom? I can do it.
What do you call an entitled woman? A Karen.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. Their names were Johony and Papa.
All of the sudden, Johony passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies “My son just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.
Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Correctly spelled.