Whats jokes
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
What were the twin towers plains?
God's playing Jenga.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What do you call a depressed group of kids?
Suicide squad.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.