What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Whats Jokes
What do you call an Indian electrician?
Ashok 😂
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Son: Mom, what is dark humor?
Mom: Son, do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?
Son: Mother, you know I'm blind and can't see!!
Mom: Exactly!
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
What’s worse than nailing 10 babies to 1 tree?
Nailing 1 baby to 10 trees.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
What's the difference between kids and drugs? I don't sell drugs.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.