Whats jokes
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks.
One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What were the twin towers plains?
God's playing Jenga.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.
What do you call a depressed group of kids?
Suicide squad.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
What do you call a 90-year-old black man?
Antique farming equipment.