Whats jokes
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.
Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: I'll fall with you.
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? Family, but there's no "f".
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
What comes after 69?
Period.
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Presto.