Whats jokes

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain.

What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?

They are all insane comebacks!!!

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.

What is a cannibal's favorite food?

Crackers.

What do skeletons hate the most about wind?

Nothing, it goes right through them.

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?

They both lay pipes in public parks.

What do you call an Indian electrician?

Ashok 😂

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.

What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."

What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?

Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.