Whats jokes

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

The snowballs.

What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?

They are all insane comebacks!!!

What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

What do you call a vegan slut?

A garden ho!

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.... (not the orphan)

What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?

They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"

What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.

What starts with M and ends with carriage?

This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?

Matt.

What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?

A milk dud 😂

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain.

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?

You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.

What is a cannibal's favorite food?

Crackers.

What do skeletons hate the most about wind?

Nothing, it goes right through them.

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."