Whats jokes
What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
Memes
always happens to me
What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a group of depressed kids with guns?
The suicide squad.
A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go