I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
Whats Jokes
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?
Nothing, planes can't talk.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
MC Cheffin'.
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
Me: Which WiFi are we on?
Coworker: Should be floor 89.
Me: What about flight 104?
Coworker: Oh crap!
What's the similarity between a pepperoni pizza and Freddy Krueger?
They both have red circles on their bodies.
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.
What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?
Nothing, it was just plane.