Whats jokes
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
What's the difference between orphans and girlfriends? I don't have 100 girlfriends locked in my basement.
Memes
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What’s a Mexican's favorite game?
Borderlands.
What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
A meltdown.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?
A. Batman's parents.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
What do you call a Mexican under a carpet? Underlay, underlay.
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
What did the rope say to my depressed ass?
~ Hey, you wanna hang?