Whats jokes
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."