Whats jokes
Son: Dad, am I adopted?
Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!