Whats jokes
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?
Panera Bread.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Black.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.