Whats jokes
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
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Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.