Whats jokes
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?
A. A seatbelt.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?
Panera Bread.
Memes
What's your size?
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!
What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Black.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
What’s another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.