Whats

Whats jokes

Bus Driver

So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

Turtle

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."

"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.

The boy answered, "It's Michelle."

Nut

What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"

  • 4
  • Memes

    Candy

    You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.

    Person: Uh okay.

    You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?

    Person: Addicted.

    You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?

    Person: Addicted.

    You: What hit you in the face last night?

    Person: Addicted... *laughs*

    (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")

    Cow

    What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.

  • 1
  • Snail

    One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"

  • 4
  • Sally

    Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

    Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

    What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.

    Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

    What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.

  • 2
  • Butcher

    At a date:

    He: "I work with animals every day."

    Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"

    He: "I'm a butcher."

  • 2
  • Terrorist

    What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?

    They can blow themselves up.

    Kid

    Quiet kid: "I'm home!"

    Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"

    Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"

    Water

    If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

    H2O cubed.

    Hockey Player

    What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

  • 0