Whats jokes

What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

Son: Dad, am I adopted?

Father: What? No! Out of all the kids in the adoption center, do you really think I would pick you?

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.

What is a pedophile's favorite song?

Jerking off in A minor.

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?

You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.

What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."

"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.

The boy answered, "It's Michelle."

My friend: "Yo, stupid."

Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.

What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss John Lennon.

What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?

The Windows shutdown sound plays.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?

The first airplane.

What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?

Stephen Hawking.

Kid: Hey, what’s black and sneaky!

Social studies teacher: Harriet Tubman.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

What do you call an Asian prostitute?

Suck Mi Dong.

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.

What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.