Whats jokes
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
Memes
Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
Quiet kid: "I'm home!"
Parents: "What did you learn at school today?"
Quiet kid: "I've learned that I've had enough!"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?
H2O cubed.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.