Whats jokes
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
What is the favorite city of the pedophile icon? Paris.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?
I.C.E. water.
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.