Whats jokes
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.