Whats jokes
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
What's the difference between a baby and a cooked chicken?
Several hundred calories.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?
One is a tool. The other is your mom.
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.
A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"
The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."
A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."
Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...
What is a nudist's least favorite holiday?
Memorial Day.
Why?
Because wearing a poppy can be very painful.
Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.