Whats jokes
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
What has 2 or 3 hands and is always right twice a day when it is broken?
A clock.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
What’s the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.