Weight jokes

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

This will take a ton of time.

A skele-ton.

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Yo mama is so fat that even CaseOh couldn't bang her.

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?

A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"

Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.

Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.

In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.

But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.

Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.

So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.

Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.

Kim Jong-Un thicc af.