Weight jokes

What’s another name for a cow?

You... cause you're fat.

Yo mama is so fat, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!

What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?

The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

Yo momma so fat, her ankle broke and gravy poured out.

Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....

Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.

Why couldn't the button get off the couch?

Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)

Yo mama so fat, she was mistaken for Eric Cartman from South Park.

You're so fat, you caused the Titanic to sink!

Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.

Yo mama's so fat, there's not enough yo mama's so fat jokes to tell how fat she is.

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Why did the wheel fall?

Because there were too many fat people on it.

Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"

Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."

Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Your mum is so fat she eats all day!