Weight jokes

Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Yo momma so fat!

She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, she sinks!