Weight jokes

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

Yo momma so fat!

"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"

Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.

Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.

Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.