Weight jokes

Your mama is so fat.

She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Yo momma so fat!

She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.

This will take a ton of time.

A skele-ton.

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.

Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.