Weight jokes

Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.

Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.

In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.

But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.

Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.

So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.

Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.

I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.

Yo mama is so fat we need to use yo papa!

Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.

Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.

Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.