Weight jokes
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
She got on the scale, said "to be continued."
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.
Yo Mamma's so fat that she falls from both sides of the bed.
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
Yo momma so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!
Yo momma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her.