Weight jokes
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
When you went to McDonald's and sat down, you were so fat, they said, "TBC."
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
Madden, because tissue, I weep Tears like rivers, cascading deep In this world, so full of strife I find solace in this fragile life.
Oh tissue, tender and so pure, Absorbing pain, a whispered cure. Each tear that falls, you gently hold, A conduit for the stories untold.
In the quiet moments, I confide In your embrace, I can't hide The weight of sorrow, the burden's strain You're there, a balm for every pain.
But madden, oh how you disrupt, In your chaos, emotions erupt. You twist and tangle, hearts collide, Leaving us lost, unable to decide.
Yet even in your tangled mess, You bring forth growth, a rare finesse, For in the madness, we find our way To stand tall, facing a brand-new day.
So madden, meet tissue, ever entwined, In this dance of emotions, our souls aligned. Through tears and anger, joy and fears, We find strength, as life perseveres.
Short and sweet, this tale of strife, Unraveling souls, seeking life. Madden, because tissue, we may be, But we'll rise above, forever free.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.