Weight jokes
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.
Yo mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his fingers, she was still there.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
Yo mama's so fat, Thanos had to clap.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Arden is so fat!
Yo mama so fat, she went to space and there was no space left.
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.
Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.
What did Andrew Tate say to the fat kid?
"I miss you."
What do you call a chubby Robert Pattinson? The Fatman.
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.