When you step on the weighing scale it shows your phone number!
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finallly text her boyfriend Μ Show me your dick now Μ
You are so fat that the waiter said to you everytime: 'sorry for your weight' instead of 'sorry for the wait'
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving.
IDK
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!" Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? Thatβs cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight? Slim shady
A snorlax was in a bar. And he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oranberry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that snorlax fatter than this region?
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
Im not fat!!
Im a Nutritional Overachiever
If you had the strength of an ant you could lift the pyramid of giza (ants can lift items 20x their weight)
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
i am a fat girl
She's so fat that when she steps on to a wood floor that the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Your losing all your friends but never any calories.
