It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
Dews?
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What do you call 3 orphan girls in a tornado?
All of her twist.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
How’d the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Why did the snowman melt?? It had a melt down! 😭😭
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
