Wear jokes
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.
Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.
Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.
Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.
Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.
Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.
Kid: It's not an Apple product.
Indian poor dad: It's a banana.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.
I wear a nose on my forehead.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Friend: I got bit.
Other friend: By what?
Friend: A dog.
Other friend: (Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies.)
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag? She lost her ass playing poker...
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
What animal should wear a wig? A bald eagle!