Water jokes
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain. "Quick, let's swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!"
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."
What do you call a kid in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
What do you call people who jumped in the dam?
A dam fool.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Do depressed people hate swimming?
They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.