Water jokes

Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.

What did the one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

What do you call a disabled person drowning?

A boat.

So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!

What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?

Nothing, they both spout shit.

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

What do you call the midget sea?

A pond.

Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?

One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)

African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"

Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."

African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*

The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found

A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asked what that was for.

"It is for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"

Booooooooooooo!

A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.

A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."

How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?

None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?

I was looking forward to some toast...

So I took the toaster in the bath with me.

Have you ever had African water??

Neither have they.

Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.