Water jokes
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What did the one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
I like my women like I like my diving pool:
Deep and wet.
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, Had some fun. She forgot her pill, And now we have Jonny!
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
Booooooooooooo!
African Kid: "Mom, can we have water?"
Mom: "Sure, it's in the house."
African Kid: *Goes to the fridge and opens the door searching for cold water*
The fridge: ERROR 404 Water Not Found
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."