War jokes
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.
Americans read "Mein Kampf" by Adolf Hitler more than "War and Peace"!
The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered Dominos and got Jets.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
Apex Legends: exists.
Titanfall fandom: (Literally on fire and at war with itself) "Everything is fine."
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.