War jokes

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.

Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Nobody:

The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:

tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!

A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"

Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.

Hitler walked so Kim can run.

What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?

The prostitute can blow you more than once.

Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅

Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.

My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...

He fell from a tower.

What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?

The British are cumming! The British are cumming!

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.

Iran: So?

Japan: Twice!

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

Why are there no fat people in Japan?

Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.