War jokes

Orphan

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?

Bathbomb.

The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?

The Jap trap.

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.

Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Nobody:

The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:

tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!

A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"

Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.

Hitler walked so Kim can run.

What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?

The prostitute can blow you more than once.

Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅

My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...

He fell from a tower.

Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"