War jokes

What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?

Dying alone.

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.

Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.

Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."

The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.

The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.

The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.

Nobody:

The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:

tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!

A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"

Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.

Hitler walked so Kim can run.

What is the difference between a terrorist and a prostitute?

The prostitute can blow you more than once.

Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅

Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.

My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...

He fell from a tower.

What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?

The British are cumming! The British are cumming!

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.

Iran: So?

Japan: Twice!

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

Why are there no fat people in Japan?

Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.

Gay people would suck at war.

I have WWII in my blood since my great-grandfather killed Hitler.