War jokes
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
The Twin Towers traded planes with Afghanistan. The only thing is Afghanistan got scammed.
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
Orphan
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"
Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
Anyone know about the war? It's not Russia we should hate, it's Putin that we should. 🙄🤪💅