Walk jokes

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Why did my parents walk to the other side?

...Why?

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

Why did the doctor tell the man to go for a mountain walk?

Alps clear the mind! Haha.

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

A basketball player walks into a strip club:

"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"