Walk jokes

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Why did my parents walk to the other side?

...Why?

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

A basketball player walks into a strip club:

"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a grocery store.

Never mind.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"