Walk jokes
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
Why is the cheetah so fast?
Because it can't walk slow.
An autistic man walks into a bra.
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"