Walk jokes

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"

Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."

I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.

A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."

He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

She says, "Yes, I am."

He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.

It gets really tense.

I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.

He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.

After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.

The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"

The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

How do you get a Japanese fanclub?

Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.

A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

Why is the cheetah so fast?

Because it can't walk slow.

*in the hospital*

Paralyzed kid: I'm out!

*walks out the room*

Blind kid: You can walk?!

Mute kid: You can see?!

Deaf kid: You can talk?!

Doctor: Wut the f**k?

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

A chicken walks into a bar.

He orders Dr. Pepper.

He then lays a good scrambled egg.

An autistic man walks into a bra.