Wait Jokes

A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.

The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"

She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."

The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"

The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"

"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"

The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."

What do you do with a frozen vegetable? You wait for it to thaw

Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...

Why did the orphan wait in line? To see their parents next

You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?

Having to wait your turn.

I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

Tomorrow is Christmas and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (yes this was inspired by a Fallout boy song)

If a fly loses its wings is it now a walk wait a minute I found out a mind blower so the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun doesn't that mean all country's are the called the 3rd country of 🌎 if I get 10 likes I'll do one mind blowing facts daily

People are pushing for a new black lady liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again

I cant wait to see Uranus😂

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: Im not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I dont have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Friend: Want to play fall guys?

Friend 2: Yup

Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going?

Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off

Friend: Why?

Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

What is bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you

Kid: Mum how do you know someone is drunk? Mum: See the four birds over there Kid: huh, wait a minute. Mum: A drunk person would see eight. Kid: Mum but there is only two.

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. -- I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.

Why’d the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay (guys/girls) house. (Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?” A: the chicken