you will never see a redneck opposing a war. he will instead say, "wait, i get to kill people and it's not illegal? and their foreigners?"
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on man keep your chin up. Wait which one
PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY SORRY YOUR ARE AN ORPHAN
hey, what those things on your arms they look like cuts wait what no it just marker nothing else....
guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're pare- oh wait, nvmd, carry on.
So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
Your mom oh wait you don't have one
did you know the f in orphan stands for family...oh wait HAHA
we should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell there parents...oh continue
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again. Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid! Wife: Kid? Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Mom:hey hun need some money for lunch at school? son:no i got 1k already mom:Wait,what,how- son:moms wallot is magic
I have a really good joke.
Do u want to hear it?
Oh wait this is a bad joke website.
Me: Hey wanna know my spirit animal
Friend: Sure
Me: Road kill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead
Me: Aren't you my son
Friend: So that's what mom was trying to hide from me
What did the orphan say to the parent, oh wait.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk...
His wife was up waiting for him...
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Weed: *gets hit my his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
(From Unknown Superheroes 11 by I am Mobo
I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question Still waiting on an answer