Vs jokes
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"
Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."