Vs jokes
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Why do orphans prefer IKEA to the Home Depot?
Because the Home Depot provides supplies for *a* home. IKEA just provides furniture.
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
What don't Rick Astley and the Twin Towers have in common?
One won't let you down, while the other will.
I thought the Sahara was the largest desert until I saw your forehead.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What's the difference between a boomerang and your dad?
Boomerangs come back.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.