Vs jokes
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Please don't get mad, it's a joke.
What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples actually get picked.
What is the difference between you and Iron Man? You have a wonky hairline.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.