Vision jokes
Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.
What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.
The happier they get, the less they see.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Can you see me?
Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?
A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.
Q: Why did the blind man fall into the well?
A: Because he couldn't see that well.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!