Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
There is one rapist among us.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
