Violence jokes
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
"And here comes the second one!"
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.