Violence jokes
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.
+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes, you sick bastard.
Are you depressed? Go punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?
A mass murderer.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.